


Hold on 'til May

by narryblossom



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Confrontation, Confusion, Heartbreak, M/M, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-17
Updated: 2013-12-17
Packaged: 2018-01-04 21:59:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1086143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narryblossom/pseuds/narryblossom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You want to hide me.” Harry suggested casually.</p><p>“That’s not it, Harry.” Niall bemoaned. </p><p>“Don’t lie to me, Niall,” Harry chuckled sarcastically. “If you were proud of being with me, you’d take my hand on stage tomorrow night when I sing Little Things to you like I always do. You’d sing it back to me, and you’d kiss me.”</p><p>“You know I can’t do that…” The blonde boy dropped his head and sighed in defeat.</p><p>“Only because you don’t want to,” Harry spat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold on 'til May

Within the city, millions of people rushed around as if they were going to miss the opportunity of a lifetime if they were to take a moment to stop and smell the metaphorical roses or go with the flow of things (though the flow was admittedly fast). They wouldn’t realize the full beauty of the city whilst rushing around all of the time, though a select few would have visions of it when they were away, recalling how beautiful it was and how they long to visit again. These selective few were the ones who eventually move themselves back permanently, becoming a resident of the marvelous city.

While the sun soared across the horizon, the lights in the city became sparsely detectable apparitions. At night, the lights from not only the Marquee, but also from the skyscrapers and cars on the bustling streets light up the city like a wildfire. Only during the oddest hours of the night would they become less intense, but it was barely noticeable unless you were to survey them on a regular basis during these hours. A common rumor about this particular city is that it never sleeps, and on this night it’s not the only one.

Harry pulled on a navy blue, long sleeved fleece shirt and a pair of his skinniest jeans, along with his notorious brown boots. He slipped his phone into the front pocket of his jeans – though it barely fit – and sent himself on his way out of the hotel room he was currently staying in, needing some sort of fresh city air to calm his nerves and cleanse his mind. His stride was relaxed, though he was far from that himself. The negative attention he was getting from all of the newly sprouted rumors was beginning to get to him, making him feel as if he should curl himself up into a ball under a shelf like he used to do in the bakery he once worked in. A nice woman who worked at the bakery with him named Barbara never seemed to mind, but the whole world was watching Harry now, and if he did something of that nature – hiding away from his problems – then it would certainly be noticed, and attention would certainly be directed at him.

As Harry reached the end of his hallway, he was faced with two doors: one door led to the elevator, and one door led to the stairs. Harry assumed that he'd encounter less people on the stairs, so he pushed the heavy door open and was challenged with another dilemma: upstairs or downstairs? He wanted to go outside and get some fresh air, but perhaps he would find another door at the very top of the stairs that would lead out onto the roof, which was sure to be more secluded than the city streets (though it is late at night, and most residents wouldn’t dare walk the city at night). He glanced down the stairs and then up to see if there was any sign that he should go either way, but the only difference he noticed was the direction in which the stairs were going. Though it was the more physically straining option, he began to climb the stairs at a relaxed pace, and did so for ten minutes before reaching the final flight. As he had hoped, there was a door that had one word on it in bold, black letters at the very top of the stairs: **Roof.**

Harry hesitated but pushed this door open, too. This door was much harder to open because of the strong wind pushing against the opposite side of it, but he managed to hold the door open. While the door was open, he kicked a sizeable rock into the doorway to ensure that the door would stay open. There was a small hint of paranoia in his actions; with his luck, the door would be one that only opens from the inside, and if he didn’t put something in the doorway to hold it open, he’d be stuck on the roof until someone else climbed the stairs and joined him.

Once Harry had secured the door he cautiously walked across the roof, taking his time to evaluate the surface he was walking on. It was slick in some places due to slowly disappearing rain puddles, though other places felt more like cracked and disturbed concrete. He listened to the quiet crunching and tapping of his feet as he walked to the edge of the building; besides the rush of wind, and the sound of an occasional car below, there wasn’t much to hear other than one’s own thoughts.

There was a black railing lining the edge of the building. Harry didn’t quite understand putting a railing around the top of a building. Usually the builders would make a tall concrete ledge that most people would have trouble climbing onto, but they could easily see over. Once Harry leaned forwards, crossed his arms and rested them on the railing, he noticed that each building surrounding the one he was on also had the railings. That perplexed him slightly because usually only buildings with something to view from the very top would have a railing, but then he realized why these buildings were made with railings; there was something to view from where he stood on the top floor. During the day time, the city was a labyrinth of metal and glass, but during the night time it was a beacon of light for those who couldn’t sleep.

 

**+**

His leg shook violently as he tried to fight the urge to sprint out of his room and stare into the face of the cause of his anxieties. He rose from his bed quickly and began to pace back and forth, raising his thumb to his mouth, gently massaging it between his teeth. He needed to calm down before his heart pounded through his chest, but thinking of Harry always made it resemble a humming bird’s. There were so many things that could go wrong with Harry, but so many things he’s not willing to let go of if they did as they were bound to.

Going against his best judgment, the blonde boy slipped his feet into a pair of shoes that were scattered across the floor and left his room. He forced himself to walk calmly with his hands at his sides, though they began to shake by the time he reached the brunette’s door. Once he had finally traded his pride for courage, he raised his hand to knock on the door but heard a voice before he could move.

“He’s not in there,” It announced, “He went upstairs. I don’t know how far upstairs, but yeah. Maybe he’s just chilling out in the stairwell.” He turned to the voice and recognized the caring face of his friend and band-mate, Liam.

“Thanks,” He replied quietly.

“No problem, Niall.” Liam smiled, disappearing back into his own room.

Niall relaxed his shoulders and dropped his arms to his side once again. He began to shuffle his feet across the carpeted hallway, slowly inching closer to the entrance to the stairwell. Upon arrival, Niall tugged the door open and stared at the split. _Knowing Harry,_  Niall thought to himself, _He’d want to go onto the roof. So I’ll go up._

Niall was out of breath when he reached the top of the stairs, but by the way the door was propped open, he knew he was close to finding Harry. He pushed the door open and stepped onto the roof as quietly as he could manage. Niall crossed the roof to Harry slowly, miming his actions when he got to the railing. Harry casted a glance towards Niall, but paid no attention to him otherwise. The pair stood on the roof for nearly half an hour. They would shift their weight or cough quietly, but neither made a single noise directed at the other. Niall once again found himself bottling up his pride and swapping it for courage.

“We need to talk.” Niall whispered nervously, finally looking over at Harry.

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, keeping his eyes locked on the city streets below them. “We do.”

“I love you, Harry, but you know we can’t be together; not while we’re on tour…” Niall stated, turning his body and his attention to Harry. “Give it a few months, Babe. I would love to be with you, you know that. Just…hold on till May. We won’t be on tour anymore and we’ll have time off, and we can just _be together_.”

“You want to hide me.” Harry suggested casually.

“That’s not it, Harry.” Niall bemoaned.

“Don’t lie to me, Niall,” Harry chuckled sarcastically. “If you were proud of being with me, you’d take my hand on stage tomorrow night when I sing Little Things to you like I always do. You’d sing it back to me, and you’d kiss me.”

“You know I can’t do that…” The blonde boy dropped his head and sighed in defeat.

“Only because you don’t want to,” Harry spat. Hurt was evident in his voice, and it stung Niall’s heart, but he couldn’t do anything to make it better. Harry nibbled on his bottom lip and looked up at the moon. He was attempting to make the tears in his eyes dry before they could fall, but he’d always been shit at holding himself together.

Niall began to speak again but cut himself short. There wasn’t anything holding him back from being with Harry besides his own fear of rejection from the public, his friends, his family, his bandmates.

Harry sighed deeply as he felt the tears in his eyes being to spill over the edge of his tear line. He stood up straight and turned away from Niall, leaving one hand on the railing as he paused to rake his hand through his amazingly tangled hair. He dropped his head to face the ground and turned away from the railing and Niall completely, going back to the cold, metal door that will lead him back inside. Before pulling it open, Harry turned back to Niall and yelled over the wind, and though Harry was yelling, Niall still heard it as a heartbroken whisper.

“I’m sorry that I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is named after "Hold on till May" by Pierce the Veil (feat. Lindsey Stamey).


End file.
